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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28510137">Cordolium</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansapollo/pseuds/sansapollo'>sansapollo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>missing puzzle piece [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(mentions of) mpreg, Alpha Jeong Yunho, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Crying, Everything Hurts, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Omega Choi San, Omega Verse, Panic Attacks, Pregnancy Test, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sobbing, but will be okay at the end</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:06:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,640</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28510137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansapollo/pseuds/sansapollo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>However, no matter how many times San feels lucky, right now, the word seems so far away. He feels miserable, curling himself, letting his tears out while sitting on a couch. He thought life would always give him what he wanted. He just needed to ask for it. But, why?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi San &amp; Jeong Yunho, Choi San/Jeong Yunho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>missing puzzle piece [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2120034</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>93</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Cordolium</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi!<br/>I'm here with another yunsan. And this time, I also brought them with an omegaverse au yaay!</p><p>The summary and tags give the work away so no further explanation needed I guess. Btw, I didn't beta-read so apologizes in advance for the mistakes!!</p><p>DISCLAIMER:<br/>IT CONTENTS PANIC ATTACKS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!</p><p>I hope you will like it! Kudos and comments are appreciated! &lt;33</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, San looks at the stick he is holding as if it offends his existence. In fact, at least in San’s opinion, it does. He huffs, grimacing at his own scent being sour at this point. He squeezes the stick inside his palm. Then he gets up, throws the stick into the bin before exiting the bathroom. </p><p> </p><p>He goes to the living room, throws himself at the couch, picks his book. He doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t want to <em> feel </em>about it. Yet, his tears drop on the opened page before he knows it. A lump forms in his throat, making it hard to breathe. His book long-forgotten, he curls himself like a ball and bawls his eyes out.</p><p> </p><p>San felt lucky when his parents didn’t treat him as a trashy omega when he presented. He felt lucky when his best friends acted the same way they do before San told them he was an omega. San felt lucky that in his whole life, he encountered respectful betas or alphas mostly. San felt lucky when he got his first heat, his alpha roommate left him alone in their dorm. San felt lucky when he fell in love with the most respectful, careful, and attentive alpha. San felt lucky when the alpha asked his permission to court him. San felt lucky when the alpha became his mate. </p><p> </p><p>However, no matter how many times San feels lucky, right now, the word seems so far away. He feels miserable, curling himself, letting his tears out while sitting on a couch. He thought life would always give him what he wanted. He just needed to ask for it. But, <em> why </em>?</p><p> </p><p>He wails loudly, gasping between shaky breaths. He doesn’t care if his neighbors could hear him or not. The only thing in his mind is that stick he threw in thrash. <em> How funny </em> , he thinks bitterly, <em> a fucking stick means the world to me but doesn’t give me the world. </em></p><p> </p><p>He inhales shakily when he hears the front door opens and a soft, joyful voice calls for him along with a mixed scent of sandalwood and ocean. He furiously wipes his tears, quickly picks his book to pretend he is reading for the whole time. It was too late though. He can’t hide his scent and the moment, his alpha comes in, he notices it first.</p><p> </p><p>The alpha approaches the couch without a word, his bag hits the floor with a low thump on the way. He lifts San’s head with a hand on his chin. With cocked-eyebrows, silently asking what was wrong. </p><p> </p><p><em> Everything. </em> San wants to answer.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, he smiles, shaking his head, and shows his book as a reason why he was crying. The taller man doesn’t seem like he buys it, however, doesn’t push it. He leans over, brushes his lips against the omega’s forehead. San wants to cry more at the gentle gesture. </p><p> </p><p><em> I don’t deserve you. </em>He wants to say.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you hungry?” San asks instead, his voice a little hoarse from crying out loud. His mate beams broadly. The omega’s heart swells at the visual.</p><p> </p><p>“Starving,” The alpha answers then kiss the omega sweetly. “I will take a shower, then we can eat.” San nods. </p><p> </p><p><em> I’m broken. </em> He wants to scream. </p><p> </p><p>San shuts his book while the alpha goes to the bathroom. San sighs, straightening up. He rubs his face. It is amazing that he didn’t cry once he saw his mate. He could pretend nothing happened. He could do this. He encourages himself, trying to be positive.</p><p> </p><p>He goes to the kitchen, looks at the already prepared dinner. He inhales, holds it, then releases it. His hand traces a trail over his abdomen absently while he sets the table. He hears his name after he pulls the kimchi from the fridge. He forces himself to smile, getting out of the kitchen to find his alpha.</p><p> </p><p>His strained smile drops immediately when his eyes hone in on the awfully familiar stick on his mate’s hand. His mate stands there, one hand on his hip and the other lifting the stick as though he wants the whole world to see it. The shame that it brings on San. The suffocating feeling he feels whenever he sees only one line. </p><p> </p><p>He wants to snatch it and run away.</p><p> </p><p>“I-” The omega’s throat feels so dry that he chokes up. He wants to say something, his eyes can’t leave the offended pregnancy test. “Where did you find it?” He asks instead. Nausea acts up, the urgent need of running away piles up in his throat. He wants to shut the world down. He wants to ignore the painful truth. Why, of all people, his mate hits him with the truth?</p><p> </p><p>“San-” The omega interrupts him. “No, Yunho.” He shakes his head, taking a step back, his vision becomes blurred, his breathing gets erratic, almost like he ran a thousand kilometers. His heart is beating in his ears. Everything buzzes and ready to attack him. The alpha makes an alarming noise, throwing the stick on the floor, and gets closer to his mate. His nose twitches at the omega’s rotten cherry pie scent. </p><p> </p><p>“Calm down, baby.” Yunho stands three steps back from his mate. His wolf instincts release the hormones that make his omega feel safe.<em> He is safe with him </em>. Yunho suppresses the feeling of wrapping his arms around his mate. It could only be doing more harm than now to the omega who is, obviously, having a panic attack.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t-” The omega’s voice is high, still choked up, not connected with his thoughts. He seems to not hearing Yunho. The alpha isn’t sure what to make of it. He has never seen San like… <em> this </em>. </p><p> </p><p>Upset, frantic, lost, stressed. </p><p> </p><p><em> Devastated </em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Sannie,” Yunho breathes. “Why did you hide it from me? We promised we would do the tests together.” He tries hard to not show his worry and holds his voice as soft as possible. He tentatively takes a half step closer. San actually whimpers like a wounded animal which scares Yunho more. He acts like a trapped animal. The alpha is lost, his inner wolf cries at the reaction he gets from his beloved mate.</p><p> </p><p>“Sannie, hey, hey,” He begins. “Look at me, babe? Okay, just look at me and focus on me.” Their eyes meet and Yunho smiles, finally feeling he gets the attention of San. He inhales slowly, releasing it after holding ten seconds. He does it a few times until San watches him, involuntarily mirrors his breathing.</p><p> </p><p>“It is okay, love. Everything is okay,” Yunho whispers to him, taking another half step closer. He is afraid of San noticing his approaching but the omega stands still. Yunho views it as a victory. </p><p> </p><p>“No,” San sobs, his fat tears drop on the floor. He hiccups. His mate’s heart aches at the view. “I can’t get pregnant Yunho!” He sobs louder than before. </p><p> </p><p>Yunho notices his scent changed, less rotten but sourer. He sighs, taking a full step this time, standing just before his crying mate. His hand makes contact with San’s cheek cautiously. “I’m going to hug you, okay?” He informs softly. San cries more, yet doesn’t make a move to refuse it. The alpha relieves a sigh, wraps his arms around the smaller body. He swings them from side to side in slow-motion, patting the omega’s head.</p><p> </p><p>The omega’s sobs change into low breathes, mewls, whimpers here and there. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you hate me?” The voice is so low, muffled because of Yunho’s tee, The alpha almost misses it. <em> Almost </em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Never,” He states firmly. “You are the reason for my existence. <em> How could I hate you?” </em> Yunho pulls away, his hands going up, holding the red cheeks all due to heavy crying. He wipes drying tears, smiling at the tears threatening to drop from the omega’s eyes. “I’m happy with you, love. With or without pups.” </p><p> </p><p>San sniffs, his eyes twitch at the mention of pups, one or two tears trailing down. “I’m a broken omega. How can you still be with me? I can’t bear you pups!” His voice gets louder at the end of his words. Yunho hushes him. His thumps wipe the tears. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care. I’m with you because I love you, not because you are breeding object.” He kisses the omega’s forehead. He, weirdly, is calm about the situation they are in. “You are not broken, San. I never once thought of you as a broken omega,” He whispers into his forehead. San’s hands come on his tee, squeezing the material in his palms. “You are always so, <em> so gorgeous </em> to me,” he breathes and laughs at something that comes to his mind.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you remember when I first saw you, I tripped over my own feet and fell because you were so beautiful?” The omega visibly brightens at the mention of their first encounter. The cherry pie with a hint of forest scent which Yunho adores a lot comes back. The wolf in him howls, cheering for his omega coming back to him.</p><p> </p><p>“I… I-I’m sorry,” San stutters. Yunho shakes his head, fully be aware of why his mate apologizes. “Yunho, I-” He squeezes his eyes closed, pressing his lips into a thin line, shaking between Yunho’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>“Love.” Yunho kisses his closed eyelids. “If I ever had to choose again, I would choose you again and again.” </p><p> </p><p>The omega sighs, snuggles against his mate. His alpha won’t leave him. He is safe. <em> He is safe with him. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Should we eat now?” Yunho asks and the omega nods, looking up to meet with his mate’s gaze. His stomach churns at shiny, warm eyes staring back at him. Yunho beams, leaning over, bumps their noses together, earning a giggle that blessed his ears. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I got the idea while rewatching Brooklyn Nine-nine. I cried hard at the way Amy got upset at the way she couldn't get pregnant but Jake was so supportive of her and I--<br/>Anyway, I saw it and said "this should be yunsan" so yea</p></blockquote></div></div>
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